How to Discipline Kids In Public Without Embarrassing Yourself
It's happened to all of us- we're out in public and our child starts misbehaving.
Maybe they're throwing a fit, or maybe they're just being noisy and disruptive.
It can be embarrassing and frustrating, but don't worry- you're not alone.
In this blog post, we'll give you tips for disciplining your kids in public without embarrassing yourself.
Follow these tips and you'll be able to get your kids back on track quickly and efficiently!
Why Do Young Kids Misbehave in Public
One of the most common reasons why young children misbehave in public is because they're seeking attention.
They know that if they act out, they'll get your undivided attention- even if it's negative attention.
So, one of the best things you can do to prevent your child from bratty behavior in public is to give them attention throughout the day.
Play with them, talk to them, and make sure they feel loved and cared for to help them stay connected.
If you do this, they'll be less likely to seek out negative attention by bad behavior.
Is It Bad to Discipline Kids In Public?
No, it's not bad to discipline kids in public as long as you do it the right way.
If you're respectful, firm, and consistent with your disciplinary actions, then your child will understand that their behavior is not acceptable.
They'll also learn that they need to behave appropriately in public places.
However, if you discipline your child in public inconsistently or ineffectively, then it can be harmful to their development.
Shaming kids or making them feel embarrassed is never a good idea, and it can lead to behavioral problems down the road.
When Should You Discipline Kids In Public?
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, kids will still act out.
So when should you discipline them?
The answer may vary depending on the situation, but generally speaking, you should only discipline them in public if your child's behavior is:
Dangerous
Disruptive to others
Unacceptable according to social norms
For example, if your child is running around and bumping into people in a public place, that's disruptive and could be dangerous.
But if they're simply talking loudly, it's probably not worth drawing attention to them.
Of course, you know your child best, so use your judgment to decide what warrants discipline in public.
How to Discipline Your Kids in Public
Now that we've gone over when you should correct your kids in public, let's talk about how to do it without embarrassing yourself.
When it comes to disciplining kids in public, the key is to be quick, firm, and consistent.
If you let your child's bad behavior, go on for too long, it'll only get worse- and it'll be more difficult to correct.
But if you're too harsh, you risk embarrassing or humiliating your child- which will only make the situation worse.
Here are a few tips to help you find the right balance:
Set Clear Expectations Ahead of Time.
Before you go out in a public setting, sit down with your child and explain what behavior is expected of them.
If they know what's expected of them, they're more likely to behave appropriately.
Here is an article that might help: How to Set Limits for Kids- 9 Tips for Behaviour Management
Give Them a Warning.
When you're about to enter a public situation where your child might have to sit still or be quiet, give them a warning.
For example, you might say, "In five minutes, we're going to have to use our inside voice in the library. So, let's practice being quiet now."
This will help them transition into the new behavior and give them a chance to get used to the idea of being quiet.
Speak in Precise, Clear, Age-Appropriate Language
When correcting children in public, get down to their level (physically) and speak in clear, short sentences that your child can understand.
For example, instead of saying "That was very bad what you just did," try "I need you to stop pulling toys off the shelf please; or "I want you to put the book back on the shelf."
This will help your child understand what they did wrong and how to fix it.
Note: Hints don't work well with young kids.
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen- 13 Parenting Tips and Effective Phrases to Use
Use a Firm but Gentle Tone
It's important to sound firm when correcting your child's behavior in public, but you don't want to shout or use a harsh tone.
If you sound too angry, your child will only get upset and will be less likely to listen to you.
Instead, try to use a calm yet firm voice when correcting your child's behavior.
This will help them understand that you're serious about the situation, but it won't scare them or make them feel bad.
Use Natural and Logical Consequences
Whenever possible, try to use natural and logical consequences when disciplining your child in public.
For example, if they're throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store, you can say something like "If you don't stop crying, we're going to have to leave the store."
This will help your child understand that their behavior has consequences and that they need to stop what they're doing.
Give Clear Choices
When kids misbehave in public, they do so with a sense of power that they can get away with their bratty behavior with the obvious reason that the parent will give in to avoid embarrassment.
When a situation like this arises, give your child two clear options-both options that work in favor for you.
For example, "If you keep yelling, we will leave the restaurant. Would you like to go home and eat ( whatever they may dislike) or behave and eat your favorite food here, quietly at the table?"
Speak in a stern and firm voice so that your child understands that you mean business.
When you let your child make that decision, they will feel more responsible for their actions.
Avoid Problems Before They Start
Most parents can pick up on signs that their child is about to have a meltdown.
If you see that your child is getting tired or upset, try to head off the tantrum by giving them a break.
Understanding your little one's limitations is important.
Young children don't have the skills to regulate their emotions or reactions well when feeling overwhelmed.
Find a quiet place for them to rest or let them run around and expend some energy before heading into the situation where you need them to be on their best behavior.
Understanding the triggers and acting upon your child's needs at that moment can avoid public drama and embarrassment.
Pick Your Battles.
Sometimes it is not worth disciplining your child for every little thing they do wrong.
Choose the most important behavior issues to focus on, and let the minor infractions go.
For example, if your child is being disruptive during a church service, that's worth addressing.
But if they're not sitting perfectly still for long periods, it's probably not worth making a big deal out of.
Here is a helpful article on How to End Power Struggle With Your Pre-Schooler- Why It Happens and How to Stop It!
9.Use Distractions.
If your young one is starting to act up, see if you can distract them with something else.
Offer them a snack, point out something interesting, or start a game of I Spy.
For example, if your child is throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a shopping trip, see if you can get them to help you find all the items on your list.
Delegating small chores might help kids feel important without them having to demand attention through negative behavior.
10.Follow Through with Consequences.
Sometimes children behave appallingly just to push their boundaries.
If you tell your child that they're going to miss out on the special treat if they don't stop throwing a fit, make sure you follow through with it.
Otherwise, they'll learn that they can misbehave and still get what they want.
11.Be Consistent.
One of the most important things for a parent to remember when disciplining their child is to be consistent.
If you let them off the hook sometimes, they'll start to test your limits and see how much they can get away with.
So, if you've said no to adding candy to the grocery cart, don't give in and buy them a candy bar just because they're throwing a public tantrum.
12.Have a Plan B.
No matter how well you prepare your child, there's always a chance they'll misbehave.
So, have a plan for what you'll do if that happens.
For example, if your child starts throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, you might say, "If you can't stop crying, I will have to take you back home and come back by myself later."
It might be a pain but ensure that you do follow through with the consequences. This way your child will know exactly what to expect for their public displays next time.
13.Model the Behavior You Want to See.
If you want your child to be well-behaved in public, you need to model that behavior yourself.
Avoid losing your temper in front of them and try to stay calm even when things are frustrating.
And if they see you behaving badly, don't be surprised if they start doing the same. After all, children are like sponges and they absorb everything they see and hear.
How To Be A Good Role Model To Kids-15 Characteristics
14.Be Positive.
When your child is behaving well in public, make sure to give them lots of praise.
This will help reinforce the behavior you want to see and let them know that you're happy with how they're behaving.
On the other hand, if you only focus on their negative behavior, they'll start to believe that's all you ever notice.
So, make sure to praise the good behavior just as much as you discipline the bad.
How to Praise Your Child The Right Way- 65 Examples
15.Avoid Physical Punishment
It is never a good idea to physically punish your children, but it is especially harmful in public.
It is humiliating for them and also teaches them that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems.
Physical punishment can also lead to behavioral problems down the road. If you need to discipline your child, do so with words, not physical force.
Download 101 pages of Games, Activities and Parent Tips for ages 4-8.
Set Kids Up for Success
One of the best ways to prevent your kid from misbehaving in public is to set them up for success.
This means preparing them ahead of time for what's expected and having a plan in place for when things go wrong.
Here are a few tips:
Talk About Expectations.
Before you go into public settings where your child might misbehave, talk to them about what's expected of them.
For example, if you're going to church, explain that they need to be quiet and still during the service.
2.Sessions of Practice
Create opportunities so your child learns the expected public behavior for that particular situation.
Think about how an outing may cause difficulty for kids.
Once identified, make opportunities for practicing the elements, either at home or in a different setting.
For example, if a child has trouble sitting quietly in a restaurant, try going out to eat with just the family and practicing good etiquette or role-play a special dinner night at home where you all sit properly at the table.
3.Have Short Outings at First
If you're worried about how your child will do in a long or difficult outing, start with something shorter and easier.
This will give them a chance to get used to the expectations and learn how to handle them.
For example, if you're worried about taking them on long shopping trips, run errands that are quick and short first.
This way they can get used to being out in public and you can see how they do.
4.Role Play.
If your child is having trouble with a specific behavior, role plays with them to show them what they should do.
For example, if they're having trouble staying seated during a movie, have them practice sitting in their chair at home while watching TV before planning on a cinema night.
5.Create a Signal.
If your child is struggling to behave in a certain situation, have a signal that they can use to let you know they need help.
This could be raising their hand, tapping you on the arm, or saying "I need a break." This will let you know that they can't handle the situation on their own and need your help.
6.Prepare Them Physically and Emotionally.
Make sure your child is well-rested and has eaten before you go into a situation where they might have to sit still for long periods.
If they're hungry or tired, they're more likely to misbehave.
So, it's important to take care of their basic needs before you put them in a challenging situation.
When children feel over stimulated or overwhelmed, they're also more likely to have a meltdown.
For example, if you know your toddler doesn't do well in crowds, try to avoid taking them to the grocery store during peak hours.
7.Praise Good Behavior.
When your children act appropriately in public, make sure you praise them for it.
This will help them understand what behavior is expected of them and encourage them to keep it up.
For example, you might say, "I'm so proud of you for sitting still during story time."
8.Have Realistic Expectations.
When it comes to disciplining kids in public, it's important to have realistic expectations.
Not all children will show appropriate behavior in every situation, and that's okay. You need to tailor your expectations and discipline methods to fit your child's age and individual behavior.
For example, if you have a young child who is just learning how to behave in a public setting, it's unrealistic to expect them to stay still and be quiet for an entire movie.
And if you have an older child who is generally well-behaved, it's okay to expect appropriate behavior most of the time.
But if they do have a slip-up now and then, don't be too hard on them. Just remind them of what's expected and help them get back on track.
9.Give Them an Out.
If your child is starting to feel overwhelmed or like they can't handle the situation, give them an out.
For example, if you're at a family dinner and your child is starting to get antsy, you might say, "If you need a break, you can go play in the other room."
This will help them feel like they have some control over the situation and it will prevent them from feeling overwhelmed and acting out.
10.Take a Break.
If your child is having a hard time behaving in public, it might be helpful to take a break from social outings.
This doesn't mean you have to stop going out altogether.
Just take a break for a week or two and then try again.
This will give your child some time to reset and it will give you a chance to regroup and come up with a new plan.
Final Tips for Parents
Parenting with a positive approach will always be more effective than a negative one.
It helps parents build a stronger parent-child relationship, while also teaching children how to behave positively.
Positive Parenting For Better Behaved Kids- Examples, Tips, And Techniques
Stay Calm.
It can be difficult for parents to stay calm when their child is misbehaving in public, but it's important to try.
If you get angry or frustrated, it'll only make the situation worse.
Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that this is just a phase- it won't last forever.
Be Patient
Disciplining your child is a process, and it takes time for them to learn what behavior is expected of them.
So, be patient and don't give up if they don't seem to be improving right away.
With time and consistency, they'll get there.
Be Prepared.
The best way for parents to avoid public tantrums is to be prepared.
If you know you're going to be in a situation where your child will have to sit still or be quiet, bring along some snacks, toys, or a coloring book to keep them occupied.
And if all else fails, remember that this too shall pass.
Your child will eventually grow out of this phase and you'll be able to go out in public without worrying about their behavior.
Get Help From Others.
If you're struggling to discipline your child in public places, don't be afraid to ask for support from others.
This could be a friend, family member, or even a professional.
For example, if you're going to be in a situation where you won't be able to give your child your full attention, ask someone else to watch them.
This way, you can focus on what you need to do and they can help prevent your child from misbehaving.
Parenting Class
Taking parenting classes can be another beneficial option.
Parenting classes are designed to provide parents with parenting tips and strategies to solve their parenting challenges.
It can also help you learn more about your child and how to meet their needs effectively.
Taking a parenting course is not a sign of weakness or lack of commitment; rather, it is an indication of strength and dedication.
Parents that take parenting classes are frequently better prepared to deal with the demands of raising children and have improved relationships with their children.
Here is and absolutely FREE Online Parenting Class for you.
Conclusion
It can be tough for parents to discipline kids in public, but with a little bit of preparation and patience, it's doable.
Just remember to praise your child when they display good behavior and have realistic expectations.
And most importantly, don't be afraid to ask for help from others when you need it.
With a little bit of effort, you'll be able to help your child learn how to behave appropriately in any situation
Do you have any other tips for disciplining kids in public?
Share them in the comments below!
And if you found this article helpful, please share it with others who might need it.
Thanks for reading!
FAQ
Q: What should I do if my kid is having a tantrum in public?
If your child is having a tantrum in public, the best thing you can do is stay calm and try to diffuse the situation. If possible, remove your child from the situation and take them to a quiet place where they can calm down. If you can't remove them from the situation, try to distract them with something else. And if all else fails, just ride it out and wait for the tantrum to pass.
Q: What if my child is hitting or biting other kids in public?
If your child is hitting or biting other kids in public, you need to take action immediately. First, remove them from the situation and try to calm them down. If they're still feeling angry, you can explain to them why hitting/biting is not okay. And if they continue to hit/bite, you might need to consider disciplinary action, such as a time-out.
Q: My child is embarrassed when I discipline them in public. What can I do?
If your child is embarrassed when you discipline them in public, try to do it in a way that's as discreet as possible. For example, if they're throwing a tantrum, you can quietly take them aside and explain to them why their behavior is not acceptable. And if they're hitting or biting, you can quickly remove them from the situation and talk to them in private. The most important thing for a parent is to avoid embarrassing or shaming your child. Just let them know that their behavior is not acceptable and that you expect them to do better next time.
