As a mom, you want to do everything in your power to help your child succeed. You praise them when they do well in school or sports, and you shower them with love and support every day.

But did you know that the way you praise your child could be holding them back?

It’s true- praising children the wrong way can actually have a negative impact on their overall development.

If you praise them for things they cannot control or did not intentionally do, it will only make them feel insecure and unworthy.

Instead, focus on praising your child's progress, their efforts, and the process they took to achieve the goal, not just the outcome. This will help them learn how to set goals and work hard to achieve them- two essential life skills.

How Does Praise Motivate a Child to Succeed

Praising a child is a great way to motivate them to succeed.

When parents praise kids, it helps kids believe in their ability to improve and do well.

This belief can be very powerful for children, as it instils in them a sense of confidence and hope.

Parent praise demonstrates your approval of the children's efforts and provides them with positive reinforcement.

This reinforces their desire to continue trying new challenges and working hard.

Giving praise to children also sets a good example for others around them, such as siblings or classmates. it motivates kids by teaching them that their efforts are appreciated and valued.

So, the next time you see your child doing something great, be sure to praise their efforts! It will mean the world to them, and it will help motivate them to keep up the good work.

The Importance of Praising Efforts, Not Outcomes

When you praise your child's efforts, you are teaching them that hard work and determination are important.

Parents are showing their kids to value the process, not just the end result. This is an important lesson that will help them throughout their life.

On the other hand, if parents praise children only for their successes, they will learn to value the outcome more than the process.

They may start to feel like they are only good enough if they win or get the highest grade. This can lead to unhealthy competition, anxiety, lack of self-worth, and even depression.

So, how can you praise your child in a way that will help them succeed?

Praise Efforts and Process, Not Outcome

When you see your child working hard, praise them! Tell them that you are proud of their efforts and determination.

This will help build their self-esteem and encourage them to keep up the good work.

Here is a helpful article on How To Help Your Child Build Better Self Esteem-7 Best Preschool Activities

How Can Parents Give a Child Meaningful Praise?

• Make it Specific.

  Instead of saying “good job”, try “I’m so proud of you for working so hard on that project”. This tells your child exactly what they did that made you proud, and it will encourage them to keep up the good work.

• Be sincere.

  Your praise will mean more to your child if it is genuine. If you don’t really believe what you are saying, they will be able to tell. So, only praise your child when you truly mean it.

• Be consistent.

  Praise your child often, and for different things. Encouraging words will help them feel good about themselves and their accomplishments. Just be sure to praise your child's efforts and the process, not just the outcome.

65 Ways to Praise Children Effectively

Praising your child's effort is essential for their overall development, but it's important to do it the right way. Process praise motivates kids, helps them build self-esteem, and teaches them important life skills.

1. Praise for Effort: “You worked so hard on that project! I can tell you put a lot of effort into it.”

2. Praise for Improvement: “You did a great job of listening to my instructions and following them. You’ve improved so much!”

3. Praise for Persistence: “You kept trying even when it was difficult. I’m so proud of you for not giving up.”

4. Praise for Overcoming obstacles: “I can tell you overcame a lot of challenges to finish that project. Good job!”

5. Praise for Taking risks: “It takes a lot of courage to try something new. I’m proud of you for being brave and trying it anyway.”

6. Praise for Learning from mistakes: “It’s great that you learned from your mistake and figured out how to do it better next time.”

7. Praise for Helping others: “You were such a big help! I really appreciate it. Thank you!”

8. Praise for Being kind: “It was so kind of you to help your little sister with her homework. You’re such a good big brother!”

9. Praise for Making good choices: “I can tell you made a wise choice by choosing to finish your homework before playing outside. Good job!”

10. Praise for Doing the right thing: “It was the right thing to do, and I’m proud of you for standing up for what’s right.”

11. Praise for Being a good role model: “Your little sister is lucky to have you as a role model. You’re such a good example!”

12. Praise for Having a good attitude: “I can tell you’re trying to have a positive attitude even though things are tough right now. That’s great!”

13. Praise for Being responsible: “You’re being so responsible by taking care of your little brother while I’m gone. Thank you!”

14. Praise for Being organized: “You did a great job of organizing your room. It looks so much better now!”

15. Praise for Being tidy: “You did such a good job of tidying up the living room. It looks so much nicer now!”

16. Praise for Being cooperative: “You’re being so cooperative by working together with your sister on that project. Good job!”

17. Praise for Using manners: “Thank you for using your manners and saying please and thank you. That’s very polite!”

Here is a helpful article on How to Teach Kids Good Manners: The True Meaning of Etiquette and Why It's Important

18. Praise for Speaking kindly: “I can tell you’re trying to use kind words even when you’re upset. That’s very mature of you!”

19. Praise for Showing patience: “You’re being so patient by waiting your turn and not interrupting. Good job!”

20. Praise for Being considerate: “You’re being so considerate by thinking of others and wanting to help them. That’s very kind of you!”

21. Praise for Being assertive: “You did a great job of standing up for yourself and expressing your needs. That's a really confident way to handle things!”

22. Praise for Being independent: “You’re doing such a great job of being independent and taking care of yourself. I’m so proud of you!”

23. Praise for Being a good listener: “You did a great job of listening to my instructions and following them. Good job!”

24. Praise for Following directions: “I can tell you paid attention and followed my directions. That’s great!”

25. Praise for Asking questions: “I’m glad you asked questions when you didn’t understand something. That shows you’re paying attention and want to learn!”

26. Praise for Paying attention: “You did a great job of paying attention and not getting distracted. That’s really helpful!”

27. Praise for Concentrating: “I can tell you’re really concentrating and trying your best. Keep up the good work!”

28. Praise for Staying on task: “You did a great job of staying on task and not getting side tracked. That’s really helpful!”

29. Praise for Being flexible: “You did a great job of being flexible and going with the flow when things changed. That’s really helpful!”

30. Praise for Managing emotions: “I can tell you’re trying to manage your emotions and not let them get the best of you. That’s really mature of you!”
Here is an article on How to Teach Kids About Feelings and Emotions

31. Praise for Dealing with disappointment: “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but I can tell you’re dealing with it in a really mature and constructive way. That’s great!”

32. Praise for Handling frustration: “I can tell you’re feeling frustrated, but you’re handling it so well. I’m really proud of you!”

33. Praise for Managing anger: “I can tell you’re feeling angry, but you’re managing it so well. I’m really proud of you!”

34. Praise for Being calm: “You’re doing a great job of staying calm and not getting too worked up. That’s really helpful!”

35. Praise for Relaxing: “I can tell you’re really trying to relax and not let things get to you. That’s great!”

36. Praise for Being patient: “You’re being so patient and understanding even though this is taking longer than you wanted. That’s really mature of you!”

37. Praise for Taking breaks: “I can tell you’re feeling overwhelmed, but you’re doing a great job of taking breaks and not letting it get to you. That’s really helpful!”

38. Praise for Settling down: “I can tell you’re feeling really worked up, but you did a great job of settling down and not getting too upset. That’s really helpful!”

39. Praise for Putting things into perspective: “I can tell you’re trying to put this into perspective and not let it get to you. That’s really mature of you!”

40. Praise for Coping with stress: “I can tell you’re feeling really stressed, but you’re doing a great job of coping with it. That’s really helpful!”

41. Praise for problem-solving: “You did a great job of brainstorming different solutions to this problem. That’s really helpful!”

42. Praise for Finding a different way: “You did a great job of finding a different way to do this when the first way didn’t work. That’s really resourceful of you!”

43. Praise for Thinking outside the box: “You did a great job of thinking outside the box and coming up with a creative solution. That’s really helpful!”

44. Praise for Being persistent: “You did a great job of being persistent and not giving up even when it was hard. I’m really proud of you!”

45. Praise for Trying again: “You did a great job of trying again even though you were disappointed for making mistakes the first time. That’s really resilient of you!”

46. Praise for Accepting help: “You did a great job of accepting help and not trying to do everything by yourself. That’s really mature of you!”

47. Praise for Asking for help: “You did a great job of asking for help when you needed it. That’s really mature of you!”

48. Praise for Listening to feedback: “You did a great job of listening to feedback and using it to improve your performance. That’s really helpful!”

49. Praise for Taking responsibility: “You did a great job of taking responsibility for your actions and not making excuses. That’s really mature of you!”

50. Praise for Admitting mistakes: “You did a great job of admitting your mistake and not trying to cover it up. That’s really honest of you!”

51. Praise for Apologizing: “You did a great job of apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions. That’s really mature of you!”

52. Praise for Forgiving others: “You did a great job of forgiving others and not holding grudges. That’s really mature of you!”

53. Praise for Letting go: “You did a great job of letting go and not dwelling on the past. That’s really healthy of you!”

54. Praise for Moving on: “You did a great job of moving on and not letting this hold you back. That’s really healthy of you!”

55. Praise for Having perspective: “You did a great job of keeping things in perspective and not getting too worked up. That’s really helpful!”

56. Praise for Staying positive: “You did a great job of staying positive and not letting this get you down. That’s really helpful!”

57. Praise for Looking on the bright side: “You did a great job of looking on the bright side and not dwelling on the negative. That’s really healthy of you!”

58. Praise for Being optimistic: “You did a great job of being optimistic and not letting this get you down. That’s really healthy of you!”

59. Praise for Having hope: “You did a great job of having hope and not giving up. That’s really resilient of you!”

60. Praise for Helping others: “You did a great job of helping others and not just thinking about yourself. That’s really considerate of you!”

61. Praise for Being generous: “You did a great job of being generous and sharing what you have with others. That’s really kind of you!”

62. Praise for Volunteering: “You did a great job of volunteering your time to help others. That’s really kind of you!”

63. Praise for Being compassionate: “You did a great job of being compassionate and understanding how others are feeling. That’s really considerate of you!”

64. Praise for Being caring: “You did a great job of being caring and taking care of others. That’s really kind of you!”

65. Praise for Being flexible: “You did a great job of being flexible and going with the flow. That’s really helpful!

When Is Praise Harmful to Kids?

Praise can be harmful to kids when it is used excessively or for the wrong reasons.

If you are only praising your child for their accomplishments, they may start to feel like they are only good enough if they are achieving something.

This can lead to a fear of failure, as they may feel that they will disappoint you if they don't succeed.

Here are some examples:

1. Excessive praise: "You're the best painter in the world! I'm so proud of you!"

2. Insincere praise: "Good job, even though it's not perfect."

3. Backhanded praise: "You finally cleaned your room! It looks like a pig sty in here most of the time."

4. Praising the wrong things: "You're so smart for getting an A on your math test!" (This implies that if you don't get an A, you're not smart.)

5.Inflated praise: "Outstanding performance–you're a superstar!"

6.Praise that is based on social comparison: "You did a great job–better than your friend!"

7.Praise that is given too early: "You're a natural at this–you're going to be a great basketball player!" (This puts pressure on the child to live up to the praise.)

8.Praise that is given for things the child can't control: "You're so pretty!" (This may make the child feel like they can't help it if they're not pretty.)

9. Conditional praise: "I'll be so proud of you if you get a good grade on your math test."

10. Guilt-inducing praise: "I stayed up all night helping you with your project, the least you could do is get an A."

Excessive or insincere praise can have negative effects, as it can create feelings of insecurity or undue pressure. If you want to praise your child, be sincere, specific, and keep it in perspective.

Conclusion

We’ve looked at different ways to praise children in order to motivate them and help them succeed.

It’s important to praise children for their efforts, not just their outcomes. This type of praise is more meaningful and can help boost a child’s self-esteem.

When praising children, be sure to use positive language that will make them feel good about themselves.

Avoid using negative words or putdowns, even if you are trying to give constructive criticism.

Praise can do more harm than good to kids if it is given too often or if it is used as a way to control them.

Let me know what you think about the best ways to praise your kids!

FAQ

1. What are some of the best ways to praise your child?

Praising effort, not just their accomplishments. Be sincere, use specific praise, and use positive language that will make them feel good about themselves.

2. What are some of the worst ways to praise your child?

Praising a child excessively or insincerely can have negative effects. Praising a child for things they cannot control (such as their looks) can lead to low self esteem.

3. Is there such a thing as too much praise?

Yes, if praise is used excessively or for the wrong reasons, it can be harmful to kids.

4. What are some of the benefits of praising your child?

Some benefits of praising your child include boosting their self-esteem. it can also motivate kids to keep trying and to do their best.

5. What are some of the risks of praising your child?

Some risks of praising your child include creating feelings of insecurity or undue pressure; when praise is used as a way to control children if it is given too often or for the wrong reasons.