How to Teach Kids Sharing Skills- Benefits and Boundaries
Disclaimer: This page contains affiliate links. If you choose to make a purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank You for your support.Sharing is an important skill for all children to learn, especially when in a group setting like a daycare center where children do have to share play and learning resources.
Turn-taking and sharing skills are essential for developing relationships and creating a sense of community.
It allows children to feel empathy and compassion for others and teaches them how to cooperate and work together.
Unfortunately, sharing can be difficult for kids, especially when they are young.
In this blog post, we will explore why
Sharing skills are important for kids,
What genuine sharing means,
What causes kids not to share,
Why children should have boundaries for sharing,
And how you can help your child learn to share effectively.
What Does Sharing Mean to Kids?
As adults, we often take sharing for granted and assume that children understand the concept.
However, this is not always the case.
Sharing means different things to different kids. For some, it may simply be giving up a turn or waiting in line.
Others may interpret sharing as giving away their prized possessions to others.
Why is Sharing Important for Kids?
Sharing is an important skill for kids because it helps them develop relationships and is essential for their social and emotional development.
Helps Children Develop Empathy and Compassion for Others.
Various studies have shown that sharing is linked with the development of empathy and compassion in children.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, while compassion is the desire to help those who are suffering.
By sharing toys, food, or time with others, children learn to identify with the experiences of others.
They begin to see that other people have feelings and needs that are similar to their own.
As they develop this understanding, they also start to feel compassion for those who are different from them.
In a world that is often filled with violence and conflict, the ability to empathize and feel compassion for others is essential.
It can help children to resolve conflicts peacefully and build relationships that are based on understanding and respect.
It Teaches Children How to Cooperate and Work Together.
Sharing skills teach young children to cooperate and work together.
By taking turns, children learn how to wait their turn and share.
This also helps them learn how to communicate and negotiate.
When they work together, they learn how to compromise and problem-solve.
This is an important skill that will help them in everyday life.
In our fast-paced, individualistic society, it is more important than ever for children to learn how to cooperate and work together.
The ability to share can help them build the social skills they need to be successful in the future.
Here is an article on Simple Games and Activities to Boost Your Child's Social Skills
This is a workbook for parent and child to work on together. The download (eBook) has lots of parenting tips and ideas on how to help your child build their social skills. There are heaps of hands-on games and activities for children aged 4-8 years old to help them build their social skills, emotional intelligence and positive relationship with others.
At What Age Should a Child be Able to Share?
The ability to share is usually developed by the time a child is in their preschool years. However, some children may struggle with sharing well into their elementary school years.
Why is Sharing So Hard for Kids?
It is perfectly normal for a young child to have difficulty sharing at first.
There are several reasons why sharing can be difficult for kids.
1. Children May Not Have Developed Empathy and Compassion Yet.
As we mentioned before, these skills are essential for understanding the feelings of others.
Without them, it can be hard for children to see why sharing is important.
2. They May Be Egocentric.
This means that they see the world from their own perspective and have difficulty understanding the needs of others.
As a result, they may not want to share with other kids because they don't see why it would benefit anyone but them.
3. They Are Afraid of Losing Control.
When children share, they have to give up some control over the situation.
For example, if they share special toys with a friend, they may not be able to play with them the way they want.
This can be scary for kids, especially if they are used to being in control.
Parenting Tips-What to Do When Your Child Won't Share?
If your child is struggling with sharing, there are a few things you can do to help.
1. Model Sharing Behavior Yourself.
One of the best ways to teach children how to share is by modeling sharing behavior yourself.
When you share your things with others, it shows your child that sharing is a normal and positive thing to do.
However, also show your child how to set boundaries.
For example, it is okay not to share special or sentimental stuff.
Here is an article- How To Be A Good Role Model To Kids-15 Characteristics
2. Making Sharing a Positive Experience
It's important to make sharing a positive experience for your child.
This means that you should avoid putting them in situations where they feel like they have to share all the time.
Instead, let the child choose when and with whom they want to share.
This will help them feel more in control and make sharing less daunting.
You can also praise your child when they do share, even if it's just a small thing.
This will encourage them to keep sharing in the future.
3. Provide Opportunities for Your Child to Share.
You can do this by setting up a play date with other kids or taking your child to the park.
This will give them a chance to practice sharing in a safe and supportive environment.
4. Help your Child to Understand the Feelings of Others.
You can do this by talking about how sharing makes people feel.
For example, you can explain that sharing makes people feel happy and appreciated.
This will help your child to see the benefits of sharing from another perspective.
Here is a helpful article- How to Teach Empathy to Kids- With Everyday Opportunities and Pre-school Activities
5. Give Your Child Time to Adjust.
If your child is having difficulty sharing, don't force them to do it.
Instead, give them time to adjust to the idea of sharing.
They may need some time to warm up to the idea before they are ready to share it with others.
6. Introduce Time-sharing
When children are first learning to share, it can be helpful to introduce the concept of time-sharing.
This is when children take turns using a toy or other object.
For example, if two children are playing with a toy car, they can take turns driving it.
This will help them to understand that even though they can't use the toy all the time, they can still have a turn.
7. Plan Ahead
If you know that your child is going to be in a situation where they will need to share, it can be helpful to plan ahead.
This will give them time to prepare for the experience.
For example, if you are going to the park with other families, you can talk to your child about how they will need to share the swing with other kids.
8. Be Patient.
Sharing is a difficult skill for kids to learn.
It may take some time for your child to get the hang of it.
Be patient and keep encouraging them, and they will eventually get there.
When Is It Okay for Children Not to Share?
Is it OK for kids not to share?
In some cases, it may be perfectly fine for kids not to share.
1. If a Child is Sharing Too Much.
If your child is constantly sharing their toys or personal belongings with others, it may be time to talk about boundaries.
Children need to learn that they don't have to share everything with everyone.
They can choose what they want to share and what they want to keep to themselves.
2. When Sharing Becomes an Expectation
If you expect your child to share all the time, it's important to take a step back.
Remember that sharing should be voluntary, not mandatory.
Forcing your child to share all the time can lead to resentment and resistance.
It's okay for kids to say no sometimes.
It's an important part of learning boundaries.
3. When Others Take Advantage
If you notice that other children are taking advantage of your child's generosity, it's important to talk with them.
Teach your child to politely refuse when they don't want to share.
It's also a good idea to talk to the other parents about the situation. They may not be aware of what's going on and will appreciate your concern.
4. If Sharing is Causing Conflict.
If your child is constantly getting into arguments with others over sharing, it's time to intervene.
Sharing should be a positive experience for both parties involved.
If it's causing conflict, it's not worth forcing your child to do.
Preschool Games and Activities for Teaching Sharing Skills
As mentioned above, children who participate in group settings like a daycare center, need to have some skills for sharing.
But how do we teach them how to share with other children without them dissolving into tears each time?
Here are some fun games and activities that you can do with your child during a play date or with children at daycare to help them learn how to share:
1.The Cookie Game:
This game is best played with two or more children.
Place an extra cookie on the plate to the number of children.
For example, if there are 5 children, then put 6 cookies on the plate. Go around with the plate and let everyone have one.
Ask the kids- What should we do with the last one?
This is a good way to help kids think outside the box e.g., " maybe we should go around and ask who else is hungry".
This is a great way for teaching empathy and impulse control.
2. Sharing Space
Children often have to share the floor space or the table space when playing at daycare.
But how can they do this without getting into each other's personal space while still sharing the resources harmoniously?
This can be a great learning experience where children are taught how to set boundaries, and skills for impulse control and self-regulation.
Teach your child to how to negotiate space and toys with the other child.
For example, "Can I please build my tower on this side, and you can build yours on the other side?" " If you don't need the yellow blocks, can I use them? You can have blue cars instead".
Sharing does not mean everyone playing with the same items at the same time.
Sharing is about agreeing to use and return, agreeing to use what one needs, or negotiating a time to swap.
3."I Have, You Have" Game
This is a great game for younger children who are still learning how to share.
The game goes like this:
I have two apples; you have two oranges. I have one cat, and you have one dog. And so on.
The point of the game is to help children understand that not everyone has the same things, but that's okay.
4. Collage
Place collage materials like cutouts, stickers, and other craft bits and pieces on a tray in the middle of the table.
Set the rule that each child is only allowed to take 5 pieces of each item so that everybody has enough to create their art with.
This activity teaches children about impulse control and consideration for others.
When Should I Be Concerned About My Child's Sharing Behavior?
Oftentimes, children who don't share well have anxiety or attachment issues.
These issues can be due to a variety of factors, such as having a difficult home life, being exposed to too much competition at an early age or experiencing some traumatic issues.
If your child displays aggression, withdrawal, changes in mood, or sudden change in behavior regarding sharing, please seek the help of a therapist or counselor.
Conclusion
Helping your child learn to share is an important life skill.
Encouraging kids to share while respecting their boundaries will help children feel more empathy and consideration for others than if the situation was forced on them without any warning at all!
FAQ
Q: Is it normal for kids not to share?
A: It's normal for kids to have a hard time sharing, but if your child is displaying sudden changes in behavior or aggression, please seek professional help.
Q: At what age should my child be able to share?
A: Most kids should start sharing around the age of two or three.
Q: What causes a child not to share?
A: Oftentimes, children who don't share well have anxiety or attachment issues. These issues can be due to a variety of factors, such as having a difficult home life, being exposed to too much competition at an early age or experiencing some traumatic issues.
