Positive Parenting For Better Behaved Kids- Examples, Tips, And Techniques
Do you sometimes feel like you're constantly yelling at your kids to behave?
Are they constantly testing your patience?
It's time to try positive parenting. With some simple techniques, you can help your kids learn how to behave without resorting to punishment or bribery.
Check out these examples, tips, and techniques to get started. You may be surprised at just how well it works!
What is Positive Parenting?
There are different parenting styles, such as authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative parenting.
However, we believe that positive parenting is the best style because it is based on cooperation and mutual respect.
Positive parenting is a parenting style that focuses on raising children in a positive manner.
This type of parenting involves providing love, support, and encouragement while also setting firm limits.
Positive parenting is associated with better outcomes for children, including increased self-esteem, improved social skills, and higher academic achievement.
Positive parenting approaches can help to reduce the incidence of behavioral problems such as aggression and defiance.
When raising children using a positive parenting approach, parents should avoid using negative reinforcement, such as punishment or threats, as this can lead to further behavioral problems.
Instead, they should focus on building a strong relationship with their child based on positive interactions, mutual respect, and understanding.
Why is Positive Parenting Important?
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Practicing positive parenting is important for several reasons.
It helps to build a strong bond between parent and child. This bond is based on trust and respect, and it helps kids feel loved and secure.
Positive parenting helps to prevent problematic behavior in children. When children feel supported and valued, they are less likely to engage in bad behavior.
Positive parenting helps children develop into well-rounded adults.
Positive Parenting Benefits for Child
There are many benefits that your child can reap from positive parenting techniques. A few examples of these benefits are:
Higher self-esteem- when they feel loved and supported, the child's self-esteem will naturally be boosted. This increased self-esteem will carry over into adulthood, helping kids to lead successful and fulfilling lives.
Improved social skills- children who are raised in a positive manner are more likely to develop strong social skills. They will know how to communicate effectively and relate to others in a positive way.
Higher academic achievement- when children feel supported at home, they are more likely to do well in school. This is because they feel confident and secure, and they know that their parents are behind them every step of the way.
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Positive Parenting Benefits for Parents
There are many benefits of positive parenting for parents. Here are some examples:
1. Helps to reduce stress- When children behave in positive ways, most parents feel less stressed.
2. Helps to build a stronger relationship with your child-Positive parenting practices help to build a stronger and more supportive relationship with your child.
3. Helps to improve communication with your child- When parents focus on building a healthy relationship with their child based on mutual respect and understanding, it becomes easier for them to talk to them about sensitive topics.
4. Helps to create a more positive home environment- When children behave in positive ways it creates less family conflict and helps create a more positive and peaceful home environment.
Does Positive Parenting Work?
Yes! A large body of research has shown that positive parenting techniques are associated with better outcomes for children.
These techniques have been shown to improve children's behavior, academic performance, and social skills.
Here is an article by the University of Missouri Positive Parenting: Promoting Good Behavior Through Constructive Relationships that encourage parents to practice positive parenting.
Here is another article by the National Institute of Mental Health- Positive Parenting: Building Healthy Relationships With Your Kids that found that positive parenting is linked with better mental health outcomes for children.
Positive Parenting Strategies and Tips
Here are some positive parenting strategies that you can use to improve your child's behavior:
Communication:
Communication is the key to language development, especially in early childhood. Knowing how to communicate effectively is powerful. It helps children the ability to express their needs and opinions, and comprehend what others are saying.
One of the most important aspects of being a positive parent is communication. When parents take the time to talk to their kids, they are showing them that they value their children's thoughts and feelings. This helps to build trust and mutual respect.
It also helps kids understand that they can solve their problems with positive communication.
It is important to avoid using negative communication, such as threats or ultimatums. Instead, focus on using positive statements that express your love and support.
Here are some tips for communicating with your kids in positive ways:
Active Listening- Listen more than you talk. Allow your child to share his or her thoughts and feelings without interruption.
Avoid using "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try "I feel frustrated when I feel like my words are not being heard."
When parents use "you" statements, it often comes across as accusatory or judgemental.
This can lead to resentment and anger, and it can damage the relationship that you have with your child.
Instead of using "you" statements, try using "I" statements.
This will help you to communicate more positively and constructively which will lead to better behavior.
For example, "I think your sister your sister will be happy to help you if you asked nicely."
This will help your child to focus on the positive behaviors that you want to see.
Express your feelings in a positive way. For example, "I feel happy when I see you helping your sister." This will help your child to understand the connection between his or her actions and your emotions and behave appropriately.
Here is a an article with more information: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen- 13 Parenting Tips and Effective Phrases to Use
2.Empathy:
Another important aspect of positive parenting is empathy. This means that you can see things from your child's perspective and understand his or her feelings.
Empathy is a key ingredient in building a strong parent-child relationship. When you can empathize with your child, he or she will feel valued and understood. This helps to build trust and mutual respect.
Here are some tips for showing empathy to your child:
Try to see things from your child's perspective.
This may mean putting yourself in his or her shoes and trying to understand why he or she is feeling a certain way.
Avoid giving advice or lecture.
Instead, just listen and allow your child to share his or her feelings.
Express your understanding of your child's feelings.
For example, "I can see that you're feeling really angry right now." This will help your child to feel heard and understood.
This does not necessarily mean that you agree with your child's behavior. It just means that you understand why they may have reacted in a certain way.
Limit your own emotions.
It is important to remain calm and level-headed when talking to your child. If you become emotional, it will be harder for your child to listen to you.
Here is an article on How to Teach Empathy to Kids- With Everyday Opportunities and Pre-school Activities
3.Encouragement:
Encouragement is another important aspect of positive parenting. This means that you are supportive and responsive to your child's needs.
Encouragement helps children to feel motivated and empowered. It also helps to build higher self-esteem and confidence.
Here are some ways that you can achieve positive outcomes with Encouragement:
Praise your child for his or her efforts, rather than for his or her achievements.
For example, "I'm so proud of the way you worked so hard on that project." Here is a helpful article How to Praise Your Child The Right Way- 65 Examples
Encourage your child to try new things.
This will help him or her to build self-confidence and feel more capable. How To Help Your Child Build Better Self Esteem-7 Best Preschool Activities
Offer support and understanding.
This will help your child to feel secure and safe.
Give choices.
This will help your child to feel more in control and empowered.
4.Positive Discipline:
It is important to remember that discipline is not the same as punishment.
Punishment is when you give your child something that he or she doesn't want, such as a time-out or a loss of privileges.
Discipline, on the other hand, is when you teach your child how to behave in an acceptable way. It is important to use positive discipline so that your child feels loved and supported, even when he or she is being disciplined.
Here are some tips for using positive discipline:
Be consistent.
This means that you follow through with the consequences that you have set for your child. Be positive and loving when enforcing rules.
For example, "I know you're upset, but we have to follow the rule about no hitting."
Avoid using physical punishment.
This can lead to feelings of resentment and hostility.
Use logical consequences.
This means that the consequence should be related to the behavior.
For example, if your child hits his or her sister, a logical consequence would be to lose playing time with her.
Use Natural consequences.
This means that the consequence should happen naturally, without you having to intervene.
For example, if your child refuses to eat his or her vegetables, he or she may end up feeling hungry.
Use kind and firm words.
This means that you avoid using harsh or negative language.
For example, instead of saying "You're being bad," try saying "That wasn't very kind."
Stay calm.
It is important to remain calm when disciplining your child. If you get angry, it will be harder for your child to listen to you.
5.Age-Appropriate Expectations
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It is important to set age-appropriate expectations for your child.
This means that you should expect your child to behave in a way that is developmentally appropriate.
For example, a two-year-old child is not going to have the same level of self-control as a five-year-old child. Therefore, it is important to set expectations that are appropriate for your child's age and development level.
Here are some tips for setting age-appropriate expectations:
Know your child's developmental stage.
It is important to understand what your child is capable of doing and understanding at their current stage of development. This will help you set realistic expectations.
Be realistic.
This means that you should expect your child to behave in a way that is realistic, given his or her age and development level.
For example, you cannot expect a 3-year-old to sit still for an hour-long family movie.
Make sure your expectations are clear.
When communicating your expectations to your child, be sure to use clear and concise, age-appropriate language.
This will help them understand what you are asking of them.
Be patient.
Young children often need time to adjust to new expectations. Be patient with them as they learn and grow into their new responsibilities.
6.Avoid Power Struggles
Power struggles are when you and your child argue over who is in control. These can be frustrating for both of you and can lead to negative feelings.
Here are some tips for avoiding power struggles:
Avoid making demands.
When you make demands, it creates a power struggle.
Instead, try making requests.
For example, instead of saying "You have to take a bath," try saying "Would you like to take a bath?"
This does not mean that you are seeking their permission but rather planting the suggestion in a non-threatening way.
Use positive language.
When you use positive language, it helps to avoid conflict.
For example, instead of saying "Don't hit your sister," try saying "We use our hands for gentle touching."
Give choices.
This allows your child to feel like he or she has some control and helps to avoid a power struggle.
For example, instead of saying "It's time for bed," try saying "Do you want to put your pajamas on now or in five minutes?"
Set limits.
It is important to set limits with your child. This will help to avoid behavior problems and will help your child know what is expected of him or her. Here is a helpful article How to Set Limits for Kids- 9 Tips for Behaviour Management
Be assertive.
This means that you are firm in your expectations but also respectful of your child's needs and feelings.
For example, instead of saying "You're not going to watch TV tonight," try saying "I know you're disappointed, but it's time for bed."
Here is a helpful article on more about How to End Power Struggle With Your Pre-Schooler- Why It Happens and How to Stop It!
7.Get to the Root of the Behavior
Sometimes children misbehave because they are trying to communicate something.
It is important to try to understand what your child is trying to tell you and to address the underlying issue.
For example, if your child is throwing temper tantrums, he or she may be feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or angry.
Instead of punishment, try to provide comfort and understanding. This will help your child feel better and will prevent future misbehavior.
Here are some tips for getting to the root of your child's behavior:
Observe your child's cues.
Pay attention to your child's body language and facial expressions. This will help you understand how he or she is feeling.
Ask questions.
If you're not sure why your child is behaving a certain way, ask him or her. This will help you to get a better understanding of what is going on.
8.Coaching Instead of Controlling
It is important to remember that you are the parent and you are in charge.
However, it is also important to allow your child some freedom to make choices and to learn from his or her mistakes. This parenting style is called coaching instead of controlling.
Here are some tips for coaching instead of controlling:
Encourage your child to make choices.
This will help him or her to feel empowered and will teach problem-solving skills.
Offer guidance and support.
When your child is facing a challenge, offer guidance and support instead of telling him or her what to do.
Allow your child to make mistakes.
This is how he or she will learn and grow. Be there to support him or her when things don't go as planned.
Here is an article: How To Teach Kids to Embrace Failure and Learn From Mistakes- 12 Ways
How to Create Positive Parenting Opportunities
It is important to create positive parenting opportunities so that your child can practice the desired behavior.
This means that you should provide opportunities for your child to display the behavior that you are looking for.
For example, if you want your child to practice patience, having him or her wait in line with you at the grocery store could be a wonderful learning opportunity.
Here are some ways that you can create positive parenting opportunities:
Make a game out of it.
This will help to make the experience more fun for your child.
For example, Let's pick up all the toys in the living room and put them away in their proper place. The first person to finish gets to choose their sticker first.
Create a visual schedule.
This will help your child to know what is expected of him or her. For example, if you have a morning routine that includes getting dressed, put a picture of that activity on the schedule.
Here is an article: How To Manage Children's Behaviour With Daily Routine Charts
Find a teachable moment.
This means that you take advantage of a moment when your child is already displaying positive behaviors.
For example, if you see your child being patient with his or her younger sibling, praise him or her for it.
This will help to reinforce the desired behavior.
Praise your child often.
This will help him or her to feel good about displaying good behavior.
Make sure to praise your child specifically for the behavior that you are trying to encourage.
For example, "I noticed that you waited patiently in line. That was very grown-up of you."
Here is ana article on How to Praise Your Child The Right Way- 65 Examples
Read children's books about the desired behavior.
This is a great way to introduce the concept to your child in a fun and engaging way.
For example, if you are trying to encourage resilience, read the book, Todd the Frog Doesn't Give Up or read Todd the Frog is So Bossy if you are teaching your child about getting along with friends.
Use role-playing.
This is a great way for your child to practice the desired behavior.
For example, if you are trying to encourage sharing, you could encourage your child to take turns with the teapot with their sibling during the tea party.
Lead by example.
Children learn best by observing the adults in their life.
If you want your child to display a certain behavior, make sure that you are modeling that behavior yourself.
Conclusion
Positive parenting focuses on rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad behavior.
It’s important because it helps children feel loved and supported, which in turn leads to better-behaved kids.
The benefits of positive parenting for both parents and children are vast, and research has shown that positive parenting does work.
There are many different strategies you can use to create positive parenting opportunities, and I hope the examples we’ve shared have given you some ideas.
Let me know what you think about positive parenting – do you find it helpful?
What challenges have you faced when trying to implement these techniques?
FAQ
Q: What is positive parenting?
A: Positive parenting is a parenting style that focuses on rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad behavior. It’s important because it helps children feel loved and supported, which in turn leads to better-behaved kids.
Q: What are some benefits of positive parenting?
A: The benefits of positive parenting are vast, and research has shown that positive parenting does work. Some benefits include better-behaved children, stronger parent-child relationships, and more confident and successful children.
Q: How can I be a positive parent?
A: There are many different strategies you can use to create positive parenting opportunities, and I hope the examples we’ve shared have given you some ideas. Some strategies include leading by example, making a game out of it, creating a visual schedule, and finding teachable moments.
Q: What challenges can parents face when trying to implement this parenting technique?
A: One challenge parents face when trying to implement positive parenting techniques is that it can be difficult to ignore bad behavior or a misbehaving child. It’s important to remain consistent with your positive parenting strategy, and sometimes that means ignoring tantrums or other negative behaviors. Another challenge is that it can take more time and effort to parent this way, but the benefits are worth it.
