Every Mom Struggling to Settle Their Child in Preschool Should Know These 10 Effective Ways for Managing Preschool Anxiety.

• Has your child recently started Preschool?

• Are you concerned that your child is not settling into the Preschool environment as you had expected?

• Are you noticing some changes in your child’s behaviour that is beginning to concern you?

• Are you not sure how to deal with this situation?

If this sounds like you then continue reading to understand what the cause might be and how you could manage this situation.

Starting preschool for the first time is a big change for your little one.

Your child will be leaving the comfort of their own home, the familiarity of their routine and space, and entering the world of ‘unfamiliar’.

Imagine yourself at a new workplace where you don’t know anyone. I know that it will take me some time to build a good working relationship with colleagues and get comfortable in the new space.

So, it is quite reasonable to expect some anxiety from this little human during this phase.

When children struggle to understand or cope with their feelings and emotions, they end up expressing it through their reactions.

Are you seeing some of these reactions from your little one since he/she started Preschool?

• Clingy then usual

  (refusing to let go, begging to be carried around)

• Apparent sadness

  (sadness quite visible on the face and lack of interest in everyday activities)

• Bursting into tears without reason

  (beginning to cry without incidents, for example, while playing or eating)

• Lack of self-regulation

  (hitting, lashing out, snatching, biting, etc.)

• Anger

  (punching or throwing things with much-expressed anger, screaming, throwing tantrums)

• Isolation and avoidance

  (lying in bed, not participating in normal family activities, doing something other than what everyone else is doing.)

I understand how difficult it can be seeing your child go through all this. It can be frustrating and stressful for you when you don’t know how to help your child or ‘fix things’ for them.

So, How Can You Help Your Pre-Schooler Manage Their Anxiety

For your child to settle quickly and happily into the new preschool/ day-care/ kindergarten environment, he/she will require a lot of support from you and their educator.

1. Pre -Start Visitations

   I know it is very time consuming but it is necessary.

   Think of it this way, wouldn’t you like to see what your new workplace is like and meet a few colleagues before you start?

Well…. This new phase can be even more challenging for your little one.

Here are 15 Best Parent Tips Avoid Separation Anxiety on First Kindergarten Day.

However, if you missed the Pre-start visitation opportunity or if you did but your child is still very unsettled, I would suggest you revisit the steps in the above tips with your child.

You can Download a FREE Copy Right Here for Quick Reference.

Request your day-care centre for short visits with your child on your day off, so you can be there as a familiar figure, while your child explores and learns about the new Preschool space in the security of your presence.

If these visits are not possible, try and spend some extra time in the afternoons with your child at the centre instead.

For your child to see their parent having fun or enjoying themselves at their preschool, will help him/her begin building trust and positive connections with this environment.

Try and implement some of the 15 tips (as suggested above) during this time to see quicker results.

Note: Try and make your observations and subtly guide your child without interfering in your child’s or other children’s play.

2. Create a Pathway

Create a pathway for your child to initiate conversations with peers. Give your child a token from home that will act as a comforter and a way to share more about themselves with the other children.

It will allow your child to begin forming a sense of belonging amongst the other children.

Now, please check with the educators first, regarding what is allowed but I have used this method with my kindergarten children as a teacher and it worked wonders.

Photos from home can soothe and comfort your child while making other children curious.

It can be a great way for your child to tell their new friends all about their family and what they love doing.

Download the Template of the Token Here for FREE.

3. Practice a Bit of Separation

During the weekend or on days when you are spending a full day with your child, practice some separation time if you have someone you trust to look after your little one for a little while.

Run a short errand on your own or go out for a quick walk on your own. I am sure you could think of a few things.

This will help your child understand that a little time away from each other is normal.

It will also help your child understand that mom will always come back when it is time. (Note: Always be back within the promised time, for example, if you told your child that mommy will be back when the big hand on the clock goes on 12 and the little hand on 10- then ensure that you are back by that time)

Use this as a trust-building exercise. In time, it will help your child develop patience and improve their ability to self-regulate their own emotions during this separation.

Can you see how this practice could benefit your child when at day-care?

4. Talk to your Child- Understand their Fears

It is important to understand why your child reacts a certain way.

Often, children show extreme reactions when they are anxious about something but cannot understand their own emotions or are unable to verbally express their emotions.

One way to help your child, is by having one to one conversation.

Note: Only attempt this when your child is calm and in a receptive mood.

Do some calming breathing exercises, listen to some soft music together or read a book together.

My favorite way of connecting with a child during these emotional times is through a storybook.

It allows me to cuddle up with the child. Cuddles give children a sense of safety, and so it becomes easier to connect at a more emotional level.

I love this beautifully illustrated children’s book, ‘Mummy Don’t Go’

 It is about Lucy’s first day at kindy and how she was looked after and supported every step of the day by her awesome educator. It is a great story to help children understand that they will be well looked after and have all the support they need when at day-care.

This Children’s Book comes with a FREE Guide for Parents

• The Guide will help you understand how to initiate conversations with your child to learn their fears, so you can start working on the solutions.

• It will teach you how to help build anticipation for the next Kindy day for your child, so that instead of being anxious, your child will begin looking forward to going to Preschool.

“I enjoy reading the book ‘Mummy Don’t Go’ with the children in the kindergarten classroom. It is a great resource for the children who are struggling during drop-off times and separation anxiety. The bright illustrations help children relate to their real-life experiences.

I would highly recommend this resource to the parents and educators who are facing the same challenge. This book is a very good means to promote social-emotional wellbeing as well as the speech and language development of the children.”

 Nina Bashir- Early Childhood Teacher.

5.Talk to the Teacher About Your Concerns

Talk to the teacher about your concerns.

You might be surprised by the teacher’s insight into this situation. Remember, Early Childhood Teachers are trained professionals, well versed in understanding children’s learning, development, and behaviour.

It might be a good idea to come up with some strategies together that you could both be consistent with, to support your child build a bridge of connection from home to Preschool.

6. Learning New Habits for Yourself

It might be a good idea to reflect upon why your child is not settling at day-care.

Often children feed off the emotions of their parent.

When parents are anxious or angry, the same mood is set for the children.

It is time to ask yourself some hard questions.

Do you often feel rushed in the morning to get everyone ready to leave on time?

Do emotions get better of you during this time?

Is there yelling when you or your children can’t find what you need for the day?

Do your children start acting up during this time with whining, crying and tantrums?

If your morning looks like this, it is time to get some help.

I highly recommend this book, Parents Handbook- Defeat Daycare Drop Off Dramas with 3 New Habits

In this book, you will learn skills for:

• Productive organization.

• How to stay calm yourself and calm your child when anxiety hits.

• How to help your child build enthusiasm and anticipation for their next Kindy day.

• And ultimately have a smooth transition from home to day-care everyday, making awesome precious memories.

7. Saying Quick Goodbyes in the Morning

I know it can be quite tempting to stay another ‘ 5 minutes’ at your child’s request.

But, this is not going to help either of you. You are only prolonging the inevitable, allowing your child’s anxiety to continue growing during this time. A quick goodbye is the best.

8.Create a Goodbye Ritual Together.

E.g. A kiss, a hug, turn the child around and gentle push forward.

• A Hi 5

• Or a certain sequence of claps and elbow rubs

  It is up to you. Create something special together that when performed, signals to your child that it is time to part.

  Doing something special together like this before you leave will help your child feel special and loved.

9. Do a Proper Handover to the Teacher.

Ensure that your child and you have both greeted the teacher.

This will help your child understand that the teacher knows he/she is there.

The greetings and a short conversations with the teacher will also help your child feel safe and cared for and so your child will be willing to seek the teacher for help later in the day.

One less thing for your child to be anxious about. He/ She will know where to go for help.

Staying or sitting next to the teacher when you leave, will help your child feel less overwhelmed and the teacher will be able to distract or guide your child through breathing or calming exercises.

10. Buddy Up

Or, help your child locate and settle with their friend before you leave. When your child feels connected with others, he/ she will feel  less anxious about you leaving.

Conclusion

Children need adult support in forming connections and building trust with others.

These little steps will make a huge difference in your child’s life.

Stay consistent and your patience will be rewarded with a happy child that loves going to Kindy.

End Note: if you still have concerns about your child’s emotional wellbeing, please seek your paediatrician’s advice.